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I don't pretend to be the world expert on Stephen Hawkings. In fact, I don't really know very much about him at all. But I've never let ignorance stop me from talking about someone before.
Here's what I do know. My astronomy teacher told us of one of Stephen Hawking theories. Apparently, he says that maybe there's a "Universe Monster" who devours all the planets that are making to much noise. The smart planets know this, and that's why we're the only ones making noise in the universe. There's no way you can convince me that if Bo Jackson said the same thing, we'd all laugh our asses off and tell him to take up a third sport. Just because the man can't walk and talk doesn't make him brilliant.
Want me to come up with an equally "brilliant" and unsubstantiated theory? Sure. The universe is actually a snow-globe on the desk of an alien species where everyone communicates by singing Rick Springfield's Jessies Girl in different tones. Rick Springfield is one of them, sent down to rock our world and beat up his wife. Woo, look at me I can't talk and I can't walk I'm a super genius!
Hey, Stephen Hawking, you may be acknowledged as the smartest man alive, but can you kick my ass? That's why I'm challenging you to an open scientific debate. The topic is my Rick Springfield theory VS your Universe Monster theory. We will exchange blows until one of can no longer go on, then we'll see who's so fuckin' brilliant.
